*sigh*

First, thanks everybody for your congratulations. Simon and I are really loving our little man!

Between 12:30 and 3 this morning I had an email chat with Patrick. Perhaps the time reference will tell you where this is headed. He had the sense to ask me how my PCP was going now that I have a baby. My answer: not well.  

I’m sure it’s pretty obvious to everyone that having a newborn baby is not conducive to the kind of rigorous eating, exercising, and sleeping schedule required by the PCP. Add to that a last minute placement to a couple who owned not one single thing required to actually have and care for a baby, and you have a few days of utter chaos. I ate well enough to start but my anxiety and nervous energy (followed by a weekend of sporadic eating) has caused me to lose seven pounds in the last week. I feel like all of my hard PCP work is being undone!

The thing is, I sleep in spurts, I’m exhausted, and I just can’t give it all I’ve got. As Patrick said, why risk getting sick and why bother trying to do both jobs half-ass when I should really be working on doing one job really well. That job, of course, is motherhood.

So, Patrick’s going to include me on the emails so I can follow along, but I’m going to step off the team and over to the cheering section. I’ll be watching, reading, and commenting. And I’ll be jumping rope and doing 8-minute abs on the days that I feel rested.

Go Cookie Monsters and Team Orange Crush!!  You all are doing amazing! You’re almost there. Work hard. You can take my workouts and divide them evenly among you all, which means kick it up a notch to the end.

Patrick and Chen, thanks. I really love what you’re doing here! Even in 60 days, I have new habits that will be hard to break.

Rock on.

Vincent

Has arrived.



So I've been a little distracted.

He was born on Tuesday. We were told of him on Wednesday. We met him on Thursday. We adopted him on Friday. And today, on Saturday, we brought him home.

I'm not leaving you and I plan on graduating with my class in 30 days. But my goal for greater "flexibility" has just taken on an entirely new meaning. I've jumped rope everyday and only missed one strength session - yesterday's. I'm eating as much as I can. My stomach's been a little topsy-turvy to say the least. I'm reading all your blogs and I just haven't made the time yet to comment, but I will.

Let's just say for the next 30 days I'm going to do what I can.

But tonight I'm just gonna love this guy.

Day 55 - Just thinking...

I haven't chewed a piece of gum in 55 days.

Day 54 - Indulgence #2

I indulged last night.

I had my homemade veggie lasagna, a slice of bread with no butter (it was garlic loaf with some salty garlic butter on the top crust) and a glass of wine. I realized that my dinner wasn't going to include any protein, so I ate eight shrimp (which I know to be the right weight) and "indulged" in a little cocktail sauce on the side. For my evening snack, instead of fruit, I had a slice of whole wheat bread with a little peanut butter.

Was that really an indulgence? It's what I really wanted, so I guess so.

Here's the thing. I find the indulgences a little hard to tackle. I think if I were on the apple and egg white dinner plan, I could "indulge" in a meal. But my dinner is pretty big as it is. And I don't eat fast food, or much junk food really, so I wasn't really going to get a Big Mac just to see what it felt like. I know what it feels like and that's why I haven't eaten at McDonald's in 5.5 years. I knew that if I ate something sweet it would pretty much only be something I made myself, but I would have wanted one cookie and been stuck with another dozen-plus.

So, I don't know. I just decided to "enhance" my meal. Lasagna with cheese. I don't use cheese at all now. Not even a sprinkle. But to be honest there wasn't much cheese on top and only some cottage cheese IN the lasagna. The sauce was veggie-heavy and totally PCP. In fact, I decided to have it for dinner again tonight, only I had a few extra raw veggies on the side.

I felt great after I ate everything last night. I felt great this morning and didn't regret any of my choices.

In summary, I would say my indulgence was a good one. What actually felt like the biggest indulgence was that I didn't weigh my supper. I just served it and ate it.

I feel like maybe there's some great lesson to the indulgence that I'm not learning because I didn't eat a plate of greasy fries. But I don't want greasy fries. I think for indulgence #3 we will be traveling so I will at least have that one in a restaurant. Maybe a really good curry.

Mental toughness

Two posts in one day. This can't wait until tomorrow.

I will admit that for most of my life I've been a skinny weakling. Sometimes stronger than others but never really STRONG. And my weakest "muscle" has always been my mental toughness muscle. Or is that a tendon? I forget. Anyway, a few days ago I did two of the four 60-second planks without taking a break, but couldn't do the other two without putting my knees down "just for a second".

Today, I did the first 60-second plank without needing a break. Then I thought, "Fuck you, planks! You can't beat me today!" I did all four without breaking form. I kept thinking "what's the worst thing that will happen to me if I hold it for all 60 seconds? It will hurt?"

I feel like I broke through a mental barrier. For today anyway. I decided after the first one that I would do them ALL no matter what, just so I could tell you all that I did them. And if I can, we all can.

Day 51 - Toast toppers and indulgence dreaming

What's good on toast? Ripe avocado smashed up - check. Tomatoes - check. Any other great ideas out there? I don't want to eat toast that looks like this:

Looks kind of dry...

Am thinking about my indulgence! Not over-thinking it, I know exactly what I'm having, but just think-dreaming about it. I've decided to wait until Saturday though because Saturday feels like a special occasion night (and we are going out tomorrow and I don't want to waste my indulgence OUT).

Should I tell you? OK. I will. I am going to make a veggie lasagna (which will take care of Simon's lunches for the next week). Mmmm... all PCP-compliant too, except the delicious cheesiness that will be on top. So one big piece of that. On the side I am going to have a slice of garlic bread with garlic butter that I will make from the butteriest butter I can find. With this I will enjoy a glass of red wine. And afterword (because I don't think I will have enjoyed my allotted calories yet) I will have the freshest piece of whole wheat bread I can find and cover it with a thin smear of peanut butter.

Can you tell that I'm very excited for Saturday night? I will post pictures of the feast.

Day 50 - Did I say once that I liked floor jumps?

OK, I still do, but as I just said in a comment to Sara's post - HOLY SHIT, THE LEGS!

Great workout this morning. Quite amazing that 3 x 5 jumps are SO much harder than 2 x 8. Especially yesterday. There were a couple of times in the last set when the rope came over my head and I MEANT to jump but it was like my feet were cemented to the driveway. They didn't budge. I laughed (what else can I do?).

This was the first week I was happy to see my diet not change. Despite all my moaning a couple of weeks ago about "SO MUCH FOOD" I am famished for all my meals and snacks and I realize I'm not gaining a pound (or losing a pound for that matter, which is good). My body is using every bit of that food I suppose.

And, not to go on about my period again, but a very large improvement in PMS symptoms and cramps this month. Probably the best I've felt in... years and years? A couple of decades? I do think this is related to 50 days of clean living and exercise.

Happy Wednesday all. 40 more days. We're climbing out of that valley!

Day 48 - Is it Tuesday yet?

I feel like I've been working out hard and pushing myself in the last few days, but I feel great. I'm back to being sore everyday and feeling each workout - kind of like I was at the beginning. But, wow, am I ready for a break this week. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow's jumps-only day.

Something happened during yesterday's jumps where I started shifting my weight from foot to foot without picking up each leg which is what I was doing before. Anyway, suddenly jumping became much easier and 2 minutes no longer felt like 19 minutes! It's the little things that are getting me through the valley.

I'm still sick... so stuffed up... when my head hits the pillow at night it becomes harder to breathe and I had a couple of interrupted sleeps this weekend, though last night was a bit better. I usually heal much quicker than this - is this PCP-related I wonder? I'm sick of being sick, that's for sure.

Last night I had a (quite unusual) hankering for something sweet. So instead of eating my evening apple, I baked it with a few dried cranberries and some cinnamon. It was SUPER sweet - actually a bit too sweet though Simon with the Sweet Tooth was not complaining. But it was nice for a change and felt like "dessert".

I've been thinking a lot about food lately - my relationship with it, my next indulgence, and what my post-PCP diet will look like. I am going to work on a post about this. And I will put up some new pictures this week.

Love 8MA!

Day 43 - I love week 7!!

First, let me say that I can't tell you all how much "as much as you want" means to me. Now, twice a day, I can just pile the veggies on and not have to measure something. I can make soup again! I haven't really known how to weigh soup given that it's partly water so I've been avoiding it. Seriously. This is a big deal for me. I can make PCP pilaf with rice and couscous and not have to do the veggies separate from the carbs. Exciting times, people.

Also, as you know, I hate lunges, but today, after not doing them for a while, I realized how much easier they are. All those leg lifts and bicycles (that pain the front of all our legs?) have given me this hip flexor/psoas strength I didn't previously have. It was a totally new lunge experience for me!

And finally, how great is it to just set a timer to jump? I only made in through one of my two-minute sets (the 6th) trip-free, but it was great fun to no longer count. I was mixing it up at the end... 10 jumps on one leg, 10 jumps on the other. I will definitely add music to my workouts now that I don't have to focus on counting.

Love the changes this week. And, wow, those planks. Fifty second is a long fucking time.

JFD

Day 42 - On a positive note...

In light of my recent negativity, I thought I would try to identify some of the positive experiences I'm having because of the PCP. So here we go, in no particular order:

1. I can see lines in my abs where I used to see rolls in my abs.
2. The exercise has proven to be an incredibly useful outlet for my stress surrounding our adoption woes. In fact the whole thing - even being pissed off at my diet from time to time - is just a good general distraction from stress.
3. I stretch everyday.
4. I am pretty sure my posture is better.
5. I signed up for the Ottawa half marathon (which is next May) ALREADY. This will be my third one in 5 years and the first one I will run in the "over 40" age group. I will also (confidently) say that it will be my fastest. I usually wait until the last possible moment to sign up. This time I kind of feel like "bring it on."
6. I like my coffee with skim milk now, and probably won't go back to cream.
7. I bought new jeans on Monday and they were a size smaller than usual.

OK. That's all I got. Thanks for all your kind comments yesterday. It seems that the middle part is hard, isn't it? But doesn't it kind of feel like we just started yesterday? So on day 85 we'll be saying wow, day 42 felt like yesterday! Right?

Day 41

I don't know if it's because I'm sick but I'm just feeling like everything's a struggle right now. I'm starting to resent the amount of food I have to prepare and eat everyday. I wish that part was easier for sure. I couldn't make it through my lunch carbs today, I just started feeling sick.

I've also been hating the jump ropes lately - I lost two days to general sickness and yesterday it almost felt like starting from scratch. Not sure I'm seeing any new differences physically. I guess I'm getting stronger - I can do more - but I'd like to start loving this again. Can I do this for 50 more days? Is this just some kind of mid-way slump?

I'm not going to quit because I resolved at the beginning to not to do JUST THAT. But I wish I could just eat a toasted tomato sandwich without having to put so much thought into it.

Maybe tomorrow I will write a post that sounds a little more positive.

Day 39 - Weekend fail

I’m sick and I’m grumpy. I finally got the PCP cold/sinus infection/general malaise that seems to have already hit much of the group. Friday I had to choose between sleep and exercise – I was awake for several hours in the middle of the night and at 4am I was starting to get stressed that I had to get up at 5:45 to get my workout in before leaving for Toronto. Anyway, I chose sleep. The day got away from me and I never got a chance to work out again before we had to get ready to go to a wedding.

And then Friday night (after leaving the wedding early because I was getting sicker and sicker) I took cold medicine at 10pm and had I guess what can only be called a bad reaction to that which I attempted to offset with a sleeping pill (BIG FAIL). I fell asleep just before 7 this morning and managed 2 hours before I had to get up.

I came home early so I could at least be at home instead of hanging out in a hotel while Simon was at a conference. I’m happy to be home but am achy and feeling not well.

Blah, blah... I’m going to have an early night and get back on track tomorrow.

Day 37 - Learning from those who've gone before us

The blogs of those who have completed the PCP and those who are in the cohort that started before us have been such a great resource for me. There are some PCPers whose blogs I have read over many times, like Sarah R's and Corry's. Sometimes I like to jump to the day in someone's blog that coincides with our current day and see what was going on for them and how it compares with what's going on for me.

For example, yesterday I found this post from Sarah on her day 37 and it exactly echoed how I felt during Tuesday's jumps-only day. I jump in sets of 100. It pained me because I was thinking, I've been doing this for 35 days—how can I not just do sets of 400 and get it over with? But by 80 jumps my legs and shoulders are burning and when I hit 100 I have to stop for 20 or 30 second to regroup and start over.

So I really appreciated find this post and reading Sarah's take on her situation and all the follow-up comments. I am going to work harder at pushing it and doing the things I need to do to increase my jumps per set, like switching feet, slowing down, speeding up... whatever helps break the monotony. There's no reason I can't at least try. The most jumps I've done at once is 261 (I tripped or I would have at least tried to make it to 275). So I CAN jump more than 100 times but it's like my mind put up this road block of 100 being manageable or easy to count to or something.

Anyway, I will continue to look back at those who've gone before us. There are some gems of advice in those posts!

Day 35 - Lithe to Lumpy

Well, it's been 35 days. I haven't missed a workout or screwed up a meal. And like I whined to Patrick the other day... I feel fat.

I feel like I was getting somewhere. I was feeling lithe and lean around the middle. Now I just feel lumpy and lethargic. I want a peice of toast with peanut butter. And not because I'm craving it... I'm still not craving food. I am craving the simplicity of that meal, though. The ease of preparing toast and peanut butter is so appealing to me right now. I just want a quick meal without thinking and weighing. I hope this passes.

Patrick's wise words to me were that it's not really possible to gain fat on this diet and that I should not stress. He also said that I needed all the food to create the new muscle, otherwise the muscle just takes from existing muscle to make more. This all makes sense to me. Yet, I just feel thick around the middle and the rolls of fat are coming back. At least I think they are. Maybe it is my mind playing tricks on me.

Anyway, I'm eager for new and harder exercises this week. (I will regret saying this, I bet.) And I'm wondering if my diet will change. I want to feel like I'm going to succeed at this but I'm 1/3 in and I thought after a promising start that I would see more differences by this point.  Maybe this is just the visceral fat... whatever it is it feels like there's more of it and it's getting me down.

Day 34

I could barely get through those leg lifts today and actually welcomed the first plank when they were over. The second and third planks were as painful as all the leg lifts! I’m really looking forward to just jumps tomorrow.

My night away was fine. I had prepared all meals and snacks except Saturday’s supper and I just ate what was available at the bridal shower... sushi, shrimp, raw veggies, quinoa salad, and a whole wheat pita. Definitely low on protein but it was only one meal so I wasn’t too stressed (although my stomach was a little off the next day). I abstained from alcohol and nobody cared, although I will say I didn’t really have a good time. I felt a little uptight and socially anxious in a room full of strangers. I don’t drink a lot but in that scenario (off PCP) I for sure would have used a glass of wine or two as social lubricant! What does that say about me?

I bowed out early – around 8:30 when everyone was headed to the bar. I went back to my best friend’s house and they had company so I made some herbal tea and we all sat up and talked until 1:30. It was after 2 before I got to sleep and even though I slept in until 9:15 I felt completely hung over the next day, like I’d been on a bender. I am usually in bed by 10 and I hate late nights. I was back on schedule last night though.

Looking forward to what’s in store for the upcoming week!

Day 31 - Pancakes

This is a dinosaur made of pancakes and I think it's totally awesome:



It made me think that maybe my next indulgence would be a pancake.

Great workout today. You know how sometimes there are exercises you hate (I'm talking to you, lunges) and exercises you LOVE to hate? I love floor jumps. I hate them too but the love far outweighs the hate. Quite the quiver with those. Things are going well here. I crave nothing and I find that really interesting. I made Simon a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch today and didn't even want a crumble of cheese.

Strange, but I'm not complaining. Much easier this way.

Day 30 - Eggs, anyone?

Saw these at the grocery store:

And, no, I didn't buy them. If I can't boil my own eggs I am L-A-M-E.

Day 29 - Going on a trip...

It’s not a far trip, and it’s not a long trip, and I’m not even going until Saturday... but it's all I can think about.

I'm headed to Toronto this weekend for a girlfriend's wedding shower and bachelorette party. I found myself awake in the middle of the night thinking about the things I need to take with me to make sure I get the food as close as possible to what I'm supposed to eat. It's making me nervous but a good test I suppose as the weekend after this one we're going to the wedding and will be staying in a hotel for 4 days/nights. This weekend I'm staying with a friend, so I can bring my snacks and breakfast and for supper I'll do my best and carry a bag of veggies in my purse because I think that will be the hardest thing to get my hands on. I'm not the least bit interested in going to a bar (I never am, but this time I'm REALLY not) so I think by the time everybody's drunk and ready to go out and party I will quietly excuse myself and head back to my friend's place. I will be interested to see if my not drinking will be easily accepted by others or if people will pressure me somehow. I've never understood why people do that. I've witnessed it a lot… I’ve had it happen to me and I’ve seen it happen to friends of mine who were not drinking because they JUST found out they were pregnant... somehow “no thanks” or “just water” gets people all riled up. I guess that's why a lot of people walk around with a glass of wine a just don't drink it. I refuse to do that out of principle.

I like this post from Kim, about navigating social situations and a specific situation in which she went "stealth". That's what I'll do this weekend. I'm not going to explain to anyone why I'm not drinking or eating junk. I will the following weekend when I dine out with my friends, but this weekend is a) not about me, and b) a party filled with people I will be meeting for the first time and I'm just not that interested in sharing with strangers (I mean really, will a stranger ask me why I’m not drinking? I can’t imagine but I will report back!)

I am totally over-thinking this. I know that lots of y'all have gone out and travelled around and made PCP work on the road. I'm just worried that I won't have access to good stuff will get thrown off my schedule. I haven’t deviated and I don’t want to start now. The good news for this weekend is that I can do my workout at home before I go on Saturday and at home when I get back Sunday. The following weekend I'll figure it out in the hotel room and hotel gym.

For the record, I did my 1300 jumps yesterday before supper and was really glad I did. I couldn't bear the thought of skipping my workout. And today I got back to working out first thing. Simon offered to take on the morning dog walk so my mornings aren't so rushed. He's a fine man. Last night he said "you're going to be so proud of yourself at the end of this". I don't doubt it. Today I'm proud that I've exercised 29 days in a row.

That's a FIRST!

Day 28 - Spent

Yesterday was the first day of the PCP that I almost didn't do the workout. I'm hurting and I felt like my body needed a break. I pressed on and got the most of my workout though I was extremely careful with my form and about moving too quickly in and out of different positions. Then I had a long soak in the hot tub followed by really gentle stretching.

I hurt myself with the creeps the other day... I feel like I shredded my left quad and my right knee is tweaked too. I think I was too low, not sure. Anyway, I got through yesterday and will see how I feel a little later about doing the jumps. But for the first part of the day I'm going to take it a bit easy and just try to keep moving a little so I don't end up sitting still too long. Will continue the soaking/stretching routine too.

I've enjoyed reading about all the indulgences! Sounds like we've pretty much learned that we can live without the food we used to crave so badly!

Day 26 - Indulgence #1

First let me say that those creeps may be the end of me. I thought other things were hard until I tried those. I can barely walk. But this means they're doing something and I love that!

OK, like Sara, I indulged very shortly after receiving Patrick's email on Friday. I didn't think I'd do it so quickly and I really though I'd agonize over the choices. But in the end it was easy. Simon had just arrived back from 8 days away and we sat down and had a glass of wine (1.5 actually) and got caught up. It was great. It took me FOREVER to drink that much wine... I had the first glass over the course of an hour long chat and the half glass with my PCP supper. After supper I had two very small peices of 5-year-old cheddar, which I used to eat in copious amounts before PCP. Good cheese is one of my favorite things to eat so this just made more sense to me than a sweet. I haven't had so much as a sprinkle of cheese since PCP started and I missed it. But, HELLO THE SALT! Was cheese always this salty? Yikes! My palate has changed for sure. As for the wine, it was delicious. I had pangs of guilt while I was drinking it and it actually felt like too much.

Then something really weird happened and I have no idea if it was related to my indulgence or not. At 2am I woke up with out-of-control abdominal pain. The pain was up in my stomach, and it felt like a food-poisoning, imminent vomiting kind of pain. I had sweats, was freezing, boiling... this lasted for maybe 10 or 15 minutes, then passed.... and these cycles continued for 2 hours. I was convinced I was getting some kind of stomach flu or really did have food poisoning. I didn't get sick though and by about 4:30 felt normal again and slept until 9:30. The next day I proceeded as usual with  normal amounts of PCP food and a hard PCP workout. NO IDEA. Was this related to my small indulgence? I am intrigued.

Yesterday Simon did my workout with me. When I was watching him skip I realized what I must have been like on the first day. I have come a long way.

Day 25 - Indulgence

OH THE STRESS!

Does anyone else find the idea of choosing an indulgence stressfull? Will I choose the right thing? Will I regret it? Will I be able to stop?

I will be checking in to see what everyone opts for!

Day 23 - Egg in a basket

I haven't had a chance to work out yet but I'm sure glad it's a lunge day. Not.

Saw this picture and thought it looked so good...



... here's the recipe, a cinch to make and if you eliminate the butter and salt and maybe exchange the sourdough for some nice whole grain bread, it's a PCP fantasy breakfast!

Day 22 - Oh, the bloat

I am so bloated that I could barely eat today and my new diet was a bit of a fail. I got back on track for lunch, my biggest meal of the day, but haven't been able to stomach any snacks and my dinner is all measured out and ready to eat, but I'm just waiting to feel hungry again. When I sit or bend over, I feel this discomfort in my midsection like there's a giant air bubble in there. Everything feels backed up and just generally gross. I was feeling a bit slimmer in my belly until last night... now I feel like a new layer of fat is taking residence over my new abs. WTF?

Tomorrow I am going to try to move my exercises back to the morning. I'm not sure when it's best to do them. Over the last few days I've switched to mid-morning and today it was mid-afternoon. I felt like I was starting to simply procrastinate, though, so want to get back on track.

Questions for Patrick that I will ask here in case these are burning questions for someone else too:

1. What IS the best time of day to work out? I feel like maybe I read this somewhere already... but I can't figure out exactly where.
2. What's up with sweet potatoes? Are they carbs? Are they veg? Are they something that I just shouldn't eat?

That's it for today. Let's hope the bloat goes away soon.

Day 20 - The one about my period

Sorry in advance to the men.

I read Patrick’s email about differences we might notice in our third week of the PCP, and I thought “Great, maybe this month my menstrual cramps won’t knock me on my ass”. And for a day there I thought they hadn’t. But I was wrong. By last night I felt terrible and today has been a write-off as far as getting things done. I’d always wondered if being alcohol-free and increasing my exercise output might make a dramatic difference and this month was a great test for that. Alas, no differences.

That said, I ate what I was supposed to eat and at around noon finally dragged myself outside to start my workout. It went something like this:

jump, jump, trip.

jump, trip, jump.

ju…nope, trip.

trip, trip, trip.

Let’s just say that the human body amazes me. I am the same person I was yesterday and the day before but today every fiber of my being feels like lead. I did the workout and I made it count. It used to be that I would take this day as a “rest day”. It’s nice to know that my body can do it, even if it seems to fight me every step of the way.

Tomorrow will be better.

Day 18 - OMG, NO TRIPPING

Just a quick post to say 850 jumps with NO TRIPS! I still took a few breaks but my longest streak without a break was 250 jumps which was also a first for me.

I attribute this to my new rope that arrived yesterday - it is this Nike rope and I thought it would be too long at 9 feet but I think the fact that it's got some kind of steel cable in it gives it a good weight and I can get into a good rhythym to get it around my body. Anyway just wanted to say for anyone still struggling with their rope (as I have been) that I believe this has totally made the difference for me! It comes in 10 feet too which is recommended for people over 5'11" (180 cm).

(On another note, I may have see a newly formed shoulder muscle this morning!!)

Day 17 - TGIF...

... and it certainly helps that the sun is finally shining today.

First, let me say thanks a LOT for your supportive comments yesterday! I reached out, and you helped... baby steps, right?

Well, fear not, Cookie Monsters, I didn't stray from the PCP! I knew I wouldn't... I wanted to reach for something comforting but venting it out to you all and with my husband later was enough and I was able to let it go. This is one of many setbacks we've had along the way. There may be more and as my husband said to me today "wow, I'm really impressed with how well we handled that yesterday!". Well, me too!

Anyway, I had a great PCP night last night and only wallowed a little in a pot of mint tea. Today, though, I had my first PCP restaurant adventure! I have managed, in the last 16 days, to not eat a single meal out... but Simon was supposed to fly to Florida this morning and his flight was delayed until the late afternoon. We played hookey at the mall and spent a luxurious hour in a book store. It was a great day, and for lunch I had a lovely piece of steamed salmon, some steamed veggies and a large scoop of plain brown rice - I asked for no sauce and was pleasantly surprised that there was also no oil and no seasoning. If I'm ever craving a meal out I know there's at least one place in Buffalo I can go! I didn't have the ability to weigh any of my portions, but by now I can eyeball it pretty well I think it was right on. So, PCP win today!

I haven't posted much on workouts lately. Not much to say. Um, wow, it REALLY makes a difference when you're resistance bands have handles though! I love my new bands and I'm working to find that the sweet spot. I will say that I never realized just how weak my shoulders were. They are definitely feeling the Davincis.

Sometimes we don't know how much we can take until we push ourselves a little.

Happy weekend everyone.

Day 16 - a bad day

I’m such a private person. I could probably blog here every day for the next 65 days and none of you would really know anything about me (the one with the wheat berries, you’d say). Well, it’s been a really bad day here and I’m going to blog it out because that’s how we’re supposed to do this, right?

My husband and I are trying to adopt a baby. I’ve been trying to be a mom for 10 years. This morning at 9:30 we got a call that a baby was born yesterday and the birth mom was making an adoption plan. He would be ready to leave the hospital tomorrow. We agreed to put ourselves forward for this case and 6 couples were profiled. We found out at 1:30 that we were not selected. For the 4 hours in between I fantasized that that baby would be ours to raise and love. I am absolutely devastated.

I know that another great couple will become a family and I don’t begrudge them that joy. I know that there will be another baby – a baby we are meant to parent. Knowing those things isn’t making me feel one bit better.  I really thought this was it.  

And so how on earth is this related to PCP? How is it not? Right now I want a big glass of wine (I actually want half a bottle of wine) (or more) and I want to eat the foods that give me comfort and I want to crawl into a hole and cry until I have nothing left. And then I want to sleep for 3 days.

Day 15 rained out

I worked out later than usual today because I was supposed to play tennis at 8:30 and thought I would get up early to do my workout but it was so DARK and WET and GLOOMY. I stayed in bed an extra hour... tennis courts were too wet to play so we went for coffee instead and then I did my workout between lunch and breakfast. And I have a post-workout snack now - I love that! I hard boiled some eggs so that I can grab an egg white right after my workout as I walk the dog and not be too famished for breakfast. Yay for snacks!

Did a bunch of veggies this morning and am simmering a pot of ratatouille to have on some brown rice for my supper (with chicken. blech).

I saw that Brian said carbs were his least favorite part of the diet. Mine is definitely the protein. I want the muscle though so chicken and I are going to have to find a way to get along.

Have a great day - I hope it's sunny in your parts of the world!

PS: Am having canned tuna again today with much better results.

Day 14 - protein fail

I totally screwed up my lunch today or at least the canned tuna gods did. I chewed down and there was something hard in there, it looked like glass. I have no idea. I spat everything out and I was completely put off. I had eaten my carbs already and have chopped a few veggies to compensate but I can't open another can of tuna and try again. I kind of feel sick so I'll wait for supper. Am thawing some shrimp.

I was glad for just jumping today. I managed 856. Tomorrow will be better.

EDIT: I just found this question and answer posted on the Bumble Bee website (the brand I ate):

I found something that looks like glass in my canned seafood, what is it?

Don't be alarmed by glass-like crystals that you may find in your canned seafood. They are simply Struvite (magnesium ammonium phosphate), a naturally occurring mineral, that develops in the can during storage. They are sometimes present as small crystals that impart a grittiness to the product or they may occur as crystals 5-8 mm long. Struvite is not harmful and will readily dissolve in the digestive juices of the stomach.

How can struvite be distinguished from glass? Place crystals in a few drops of hot vinegar and they will gradually dissolve, while glass will not.

Struvite is extremely rare. For example, the incidence of struvite in our sockeye salmon is 2.4 in 1,000,000 cans.

If you have any concerns or questions about struvite, please don't hesitate to contact us. We are more than happy to answer your questions and always make it a priority to ensure that our customers are satisfied.

2.4 in 1,000,000 cans? Perhaps today is the day I should buy a lottery ticket!!

And yes, I feel better...

Day 13 - I have arms of steel

At least that's what I told myself when my jumprope broke this morning. The rope snapped off right at the handle. WOW! I am so strong that I am making mincemeat of this jumprope!!

Nah...

It just happens that the life expectancy of a $3 jumprope is approximately 13 days (or 6200 jumps).

6200 jumps - look at us go!

(and look at me go shopping this afternoon...)

Day 12 - finally not too sore

Maybe my body is getting a bit used to the exercise, but I'm not nearly as sore as I have been. I'm definitely feeling my workouts though. And those 20 second rests between ab sets? Best 20 seconds of the day! I am doing allright on the food front. I don't find this part of it too challenging and I figure this is because:

a) I work from home and eat all my meals at home
b) I work part-time from home so have more time to cook
c) I don't have children so my free time is "free"
d) I cook a lot anyway and the cooking I'm doing for my PCP diet is very alligned with how I usually cook (altough there's WAY more protein in my diet now)


(my point is that I admire and commend all of you with extremely busy lives. this is quite a pursuit and a test of time management, and I know it can be done!)


The part I find hard (and hope I don't struggle too much with in upcoming weeks) is the exercise. So far it's been good. And I love getting it over with first thing in the morning. But every time I do the incline pull ups I wonder if I'll EVER be able to do a proper overhead pull up. I can do all my reps. And in the first set I can even get myself all the way up to the bar, but by set 3 I'm barely there at all. I wonder when I will feel stronger. Also I look in the mirror a lot to see if I can notice any difference... anyone else doing that?

That said, I did play tennis today, and I felt quicker on my feet and better able to get to the ball. I guess that's strength.

Anyway, good tips yesterday, Patrick about the veggies. I do the same for everything. I never just make one meal's worth of anything (and this is where I don't differ from pre-PCP). I eat lunch at home and Simon, my husband, takes his lunch to work everyday... so when I cook rice, I cook a LOT of rice and it's great for a few meals. I recommend this to people too. You end up eating the same thing for a few meals in a row but it saves time in the end and takes a lot of thinking out of it come supper time.

Oh, and wheat berries are my new favorite food. If you haven't tried these yet I really recommend them. I had them this morning with my milk, better than any boxed cereal I've ever had and more hearty than oatmeal. They take a long time to cook however (I did them last night) but totally worth it!

Hope everyone enjoyed the weekend.

Team Blue!! (Anybody ready to change that name yet?) Team Don't Get Blue? Team Blue Skies are Coming? Team ROCK HARD ABS?

Day 10 - Supper for breakfast

When I was a kid my mom sometimes made pancakes for supper and I thought it was the best thing ever. Breakfast for supper! Well, now it seems it's supper for breakfast, which suits me just fine; I like savory food so I'm happy to eat veggies for breakfast. Today instead of trying to find a way to make them "breakfasty" I just reheated the leftovers from last night's supper and substituted the salmon for an egg. It was brown rice, veggies (zucchini, eggplant, peppers and tomatoes that I'd baked with herbs) and a poached egg. It was the best breakfast I'd had in a long time and I took a picture of it for y'all:

I found a park around the corner with a perfect bar for incline pull-ups. So I jumped (which was TOTALLY hard today) and headed over there to do the pull-ups while I was warmed up and then came home to do the rest of the workout. It's not ideal as breaks the momentum and takes longer. I could leave them until the end of the workout  and do them when I walk the dog, but if order of exercises is important, that might not work either.

Patrick, thanks for addressing the bean and nut issue in yesterday's email. I was wondering about that.

Peanut butter, I shall miss you!!

Day 9

My body aches all over and I love it. I had a massage this morning and I could really tell that I've engaged a lot of my muscles in the last week.

Despite the load of food yesterday, I was FAMISHED when I woke up this morning. Today I don't feel like it's been too much food at all. Clearly my body is using the fuel somehow. I bought some wheat berries today as well as some buckwheat groat. I'm going to take this opportunity to experiment with all kinds of different whole grains! I'll post any recipes I find or things I make that work really well... I hope everybody else does the same. The shared tips are really helpful

Day 8 - a near fail and a 180

I started earlier with an entire “woe is me” post (the rain! incline pull-ups? a leak in the house! a workout interrupted! my bands haven’t arrived yet!). Blah, blah… I felt doomed and the quitter inside me taunted me a little. But, the day turned around. So I had to push back my workout… I got it in before lunch. After 200 highly unsuccessful jumps on the carpet inside (at 7:00 am at which point the interruption occurred) the sky cleared and I did the other 400 outside. The house leak is drying. I used the hacked up bits of old bands we have (with no handles) and it all worked out just fine. And I will find a place to do incline pull ups (I had found more of a chin-up bar at the local school but was ill-prepared for the INCLINE).

Anyway, the day’s almost over, and I did it. I even managed an unexpected lunch guest and explained why my homemade vegetable soup had no salt and why my toasted tomato sandwich had no mayo. And then I ate ANOTHER sandwich. Tuna this time. I rinsed the tuna first (water-packed tuna still has sodium!) and then gave it some lemon juice and pepper and smushed it between two pieces of bread. Do you know why they really put mayo in the tuna sandwich? Its’ like glue, you see. Without it, your sandwich looks like this:

Anyway, I hope everybody else made out ok today. I have to find some protein for my supper. This requires a shopping excursion for fish and shrimp (the two things I didn’t buy yesterday). And I will enjoy my fish with my leftover pasta and tomato sauce from last night.

On another note:

Patrick, I’m so happy that the PCP philosophy is the Michael Pollan way! I’ve read this article many times (and yes I read it again!) and this has been my food philosophy for years. We reviewed his book “In Defense of Food” in my book club last year. It’s a great, eye-opening read. Also, I happened to watch the documentary “Food, Inc.” last night, on the eve of the PCP diet change. It’s a great film and I highly recommend it to anyone looking to eat more consciously.

Day 7 - 1 week down!

I can totally relate with Sara's post this morning - I'm so ready to start the "real" PCP! I'm definitely looking forward to having a restricted and prescribed diet. It will take a lot of the guessing work out about what's the "best thing to eat" so we can just focus on the fitness!

I loved that today was jumps only. I was really ready for a break from the push ups. I did 5 sets of 100 and managed the first two sets with NO TRIPS! I was amazed! Wow, legs were BURNING though!!

Halve a great last day everyone!!

(Get it? HALVE.... insert grooooaaaannn here.....)

Day 6 - a realization

I have suffered from heartburn very regularly for probably over 20 years.

Last night when I went to bed, it dawned on me that since halving my meals I haven't had heartburn once!

Day 5 - breaking habits

I am reading a lot of comments that people's feet are sore, and I'm so glad mine are not. My chest on the other hand? How is it that the push up bars make such a difference? Ouch! The weekend was a success. I took Patrick's advice about keeping my mouth and hands busy and picked at half a salt-free brown rice cake for over an hour today... it wasn't necessarily satisfying (though I wasn't exactly hungry) but I did pick each tiny piece of rice off and then kind of let each one melt in my mouth... it occupied my time anyway.

Lesson of the weekend - Friday night I had allotted myself half a whole wheat bun to go along with my salad for supper. But then I forgot about it. When I remembered I muttered something out loud like "oh, I was going to have this with supper, I'm not really hungry for it now but I'm just going to have a bit of peanut butter on it..." My husband just looked at me and said "if you're not hungry don't eat it".

Duh. Old habits, I guess!

Day 3

I feel good. Really sore all over but I feel tighter if that makes sense. Today’s workout felt good too, but still a little trippy on the jumps. It’s definitely because it’s harder to pick up my feet but I think my jump rope is also kind of sucky. Does anybody have one they’d recommend? Push-ups were the hardest. My chest is SORE!

Last night I talked myself into having half a beer. I’m not even sure I wanted it, but the thought of not being able to have it in a few days (I assume I won’t be able to) made me want to indulge. I took a sip and realized I didn’t really want it (but yes, I finished it). Then I sat down and read Patrick’s email about his effort to find substitutes for things like beer (coffee of all things, Patrick?). I guess in the next 87 days I will be finding a lot of substitutes for food cravings (and more importantly eating habits). That’s not to say that I won’t enjoy my half-drink tonight… I just think it will be some red wine instead.

Food-wise, I realize that I don’t eat very much. My half portions are small. I’m hungry a lot. I continue to follow my regular “snacking” pattern, but half of that as well and usually apple or yogurt. I can go DAAAAYYYYS without sweets, but I’d be a little afraid if someone put a basket of fries in front of me right now. That’s what I’d choose over cake any day. Last night (along with the half of a beer) I ate 1.5 pieces of pizza. It wasn’t like an ooey-gooey greasy restaurant pizza, it was a fresh, purchased (but more of a homemade) cook yourself type with not too much cheese and just veggies. But I felt full and bloated afterward and I immediately regretted eating it. So if my half portion was too much, my usual 3 pieces is obviously just overboard. It’s possible that I always feel that way when I eat it but I’m definitely more mindful about my whole eating experience at the moment.

And so it seems, that these last three days have been very similar to the ones before them, but I feel better and more in touch with my body and how it’s talking to me. And when it comes down to it, the thing I'm doing differently is making choices I haven't made before. Choosing to get up early (in the cold! and the dark!) to exercise, to stick to a routine, to eat something (or not eat something). I feel really happy to be doing this right now. I’m looking forward to day 4 and beyond!

Day 2

I was so hungry when I went to bed last night I thought I'd have a terrible sleep, but I had one of the best sleeps of my LIFE! I have a bit of an insomnia problem so when I can make it through the whole night and wake up feeling rested it just feels amazing!

The hunger was gone by the time I woke up and I was able to do my workout on an empty stomach. A bit more trippy on the jumps today and, yikes, those pushups! (Oh, I am weak...)

Also, I am jumping rope outside (I assume everybody is, right?). But it's chilly in the mornings! Should be interesting in another month!!

Day 1

Ok, I’m not going to be the jackass who says “I thought this was going to be harder” but I will say that I was SO happy to not fall on my face this morning while jumping rope because I really thought getting the rope around my BODY would be harder. I’m not graceful by any means, but I survived it and in one of my five sets, actually did the WHOLE 50 jumps without tripping. As pain creeps from my feet up to my legs I’m sure it will become increasingly difficult to even lift my feet off the ground (not to mention what might happen with my arms), but for now I feel accomplished!

The rest of the workout was good… I wasn’t sure if in the sit-up we should be going all the way up… Patrick, it looks in the photo like you’re kind of lifting your chest off the floor and leaving your low back down. Is that right? And my dog was a little confused but the whole process… usually we enjoy a leisurely early-morning cuddle while my husband rides his recumbent bike, but today Wiley stood in the driveway staring at me while I jumped and then sat almost on top of me pawing at my armpit while I did sit ups. He will adjust.

I’ve decided that whenever possible I’ll do my workouts first thing in the morning. I noted that more than a few PCP bloggers said when they waited until the afternoon it just got harder. So mornings it is, which is new for me. I am a morning person but not a morning exerciser. It actually makes me feel sick to my stomach, but I know that it won’t take long before a habit forms and I’ll get used to it.

And finally the food. It’s too soon to tell how hungry I’ll be after a week of eating half my usual portions. We aren’t big portion people anyway in this house, and we have what we call “the 10-minute rule”. We can always go for second helpings, but better to wait 10 minutes first. It’s amazing how often you’re actually NOT hungry anymore 10 minutes after eating. So I will continue to follow the rule this week, but the first serving will be half-size and the second (if there is one) will be half of what it regularly would have been.

So far today it’s been 1 egg, 1 toast and half a tomato for breakfast, followed a little later by half a yogurt for a snack. Then I played tennis for 90 minutes and had half an apple right after. Then for lunch I had half a bowl of homemade beany-veggie soup, 1 piece of cheese, half a salt-free brown rice cake, and the other half of my yogurt. Because I work at home, I eat almost all my meals at home, which makes not wasting food easier... but because I served myself only half portions to start with I didn’t have the psychological effect of leaving half my food on my plate and walking away. Which I think I’d be ok with. But like I said, maybe in four days when I’m “HUNGRY” I’ll feel differently.

Hope everybody else’s Day 1 was great!  

Day 0

I am excited:

• to get strong
• to be held accountable
• to connect
• to touch my toes
• to push myself

I am nervous:

• about feeling pressure to conform in social situations
• about how upcoming travel might interfere with my PCP goals
• about the hard work I know this will be

BUT, 90 days is a drop in the bucket of my life. I can do anything for 90 days, right?



We ALL can!